TODAY IS THE DAY I PASSED MY DRIVING BTT !! (first attempt) lol..
THURSDAY
4th JUNE 2009
9.50am
SSDC

We Are Broken

i am outside
and i've been waiting for the sun
with my wide eyes
i've seen worlds that don't belong
my mouth is dry with words i cannot verbalize
tell me why we live like this

keep me safe inside
your arms like towers
tower over me

yeah
cause we are broken
what must we do to restore
our innocence
and all the promise we adored
give us life again cause we just wanna be whole

lock the doors
cause i'd like to capture this voice
that came to me tonight
so everyone will have a choice
and under red lights
i'll show myself it wasn't forged
we're at war
we live like this

keep me safe inside
your arms like towers
tower over me

cause we are broken
what must we do to restore
our innocence
and all the promise we adored
give us life again cause we just wanna be whole

tower over me
tower over me
...and i'll take the truth at any cost.










seriously just fuck off, izzul..

wtf sia..
i should just quit living, seriously and fucking furiously -.-
i just feel so.... URGH!!
ccb.. its like the world is moving so fucking fast with
so many things going on at the same time..
WAIT UP for fuck's sake..

or maybe i should just fuck some of the burdens off my fucking chest..
and walk a little faster with what i have left
to catch up with the freaking world..
i've got no time for....
and yet seems like nothing is happening at all.. wtf.
feel like killing myself or smth.. (and breaking down is NOT in my vocab -.-)

i'm neither here nor there..
so i should just like fuck everything else and study non-stop and become an ugly geek..
geeks are better off in life anyway... NOWADAYS tt is..
hong wei might be the only person who knows EXACTLY what i mean..
and my life is fucking screwed up..






why cant life just go the way you want it to..
why is it that i am always the one who needs to work so much extra harder to get what i want..
when its a walk in the park to most of them...
why does my life have to be so complicated all the fucking time -.-
why am i trying so hard to get smth that doesnt even belong to me in the first place...
why is life so fucking unfair...
why.. do people who do not want that something as much as you do, get it and leave you with nth left to spur you on in life...
why...











fuck this world.. and this fucking life -.-

Why write with confidence?
Why try to save them?
We try to not forget
It's so much better there
Did you think you could make it on your own?
It was so much better there

This won't mean anything...









fuck you la..

things i did 'right' today:

1) burnt my fingers, again
2) swallowed a fish bone
3) got a cut on my finger
4) tore my knuckle skin
5) had something painful go into my right eye
6) broke my handphone
7) take cab to changi road
8) AO
9) eat stupid fats
10) acted happy even when i'm not







smart move, izzul...

tired and alone, i wished there was someone to share that status with..
i look on the bright side, but wait.. there is non.
when i look at the moon, i know thats my only connection with her, whoever she is.
i hope she's doing fine. as a matter of fact, i hope she's the total opposite of my worries.

smiling, laughing and not to cry.
happy and loving with what/who she has now.. sigh.
i only want the best for her, even if she's not meant to be mine.
hope the man that holds her will treat her fine. no, more than fine. PERFECT.

he will be the one who she feels secure with.
he will always be there for her when she needs someone to talk to.
he will not take her love for granted and love is what back he will give.
he will be the person whom she can put all her trust in, and not be a fool.


he will never leave her, never deceive her, never break her heart.
no matter what, he is to make sure she wont even get a single cut.
he is to pray for her health, pray for her wealth, and hope she'll always be fine.
if i had just one wish, THAT would be mine..

i dont really care if i dont get her, as long as she's doing fine.
i dont care if i will suffer inside...

FINALLY 18 and LEGAL(:

i'm OFICIALLY 18!!!!!!
WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
you know.. i've always wanted to be this age,
for god knows what reason cus i really have no idea why.
maybe it just looks like a nice age to be at,
BUT...
i only get to be 18 for a year, so i'm gonna make full use of my time being 18 (:

study hard..
play hard..
gym hard..
shoot hard.. (archery)

and yes..
i'm not gonna ever let go of this group of ppl called GLs..
they are the only family i have in poly tt i can trust A LOT
and have millions and trillions and zillions of truckloads of fun with,
without having to worry much abt the world around me..
i love every-single-one of them to DA MAX!!!
and it will FOREVER stay that way(:

and of course... there are the special group of special ppl..
who add spice to my life to make it almost perfect(:
and thanks to these people,
my 18th birthday was a very very very memorable one..

this year, i dont care if a million people wished me a happy birthday..
cus its NOT the quantity that counts.. its the QUALITY (thanks REYNARD!!)

what surprise this group of ppl gave me ystd was a small one..
but that didnt matter AT ALL.
what mattered was WHO gave me the surprise.. and what also mattered was the THOUGHT they all put in..
and i can tell you, this group of special people whom i hold very dear to my heart..
are the SWEETEST and BEST bunch of ppl ever!!
they are non other than...



NATALIE!!
ZAID!!
RACHEL!!
REYNARD!!
TAUFIQ!! (TABUNG)
YONG QUAN!!
PRAVIN!!



i will FOREVER LOVE YOU GUYS!!!! ((:

and for those who couldnt make it, i know they wished they could've been there.
all in all, it was a GREAT 18th birthday spent with even GREATER friends(:



really,
i couldnt have asked more from you guys.
thank you for ALL ur bdae wishes and blessings.
AND THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH FOR THIS MEMORABLE 18th :D
till death do us part, we will always be together as ONE FAMILY (:







LOVE,
izzul (: