We are who We were when

2011-02-20T18:25:00.000+08:00

the love of my life, Cara Chang Cai Ling

Getting Fat

2011-02-19T02:22:00.005+08:00

i miss those days when i had muscles & abs );

Teenage Dream

2010-10-15T02:30:00.002+08:00

i've found her.. i cant believe i've actually found her. my missing puzzle piece.. Cara Chang

2009-11-15T01:35:00.003+08:00

sometimes.. i feel like life's playing a game with me, when i want to take it seriously...

crush Me..

2009-07-12T19:16:00.003+08:00

=S ............ September...

Anberlin - Inevitable

2009-07-09T23:22:00.006+08:00

i swear.. that whenever i talk to you, my heart beats hell faster.
we speak in different voices, when fighting with the ones we've loved.
i swear.. i fought the old me and buried him in my past.
trials in life questions my existence here.
i swear.. i would do anything to make this right. anything..
i wana feel all superhuman when i'm with you.
i swear.. i'm being punished, every single second of this torment without you.
scars that will never show and wounds that will never bleed.
i swear.. ur someone who's smile makes me feel like i've been holding back.
i cant win i'm losing the fight.. all the time.
i swear.. for you, i'm trying to be a better man.
i made the same mistake twice, and i'm trying to flip the page.
i swear.. i'll be there.

i think i know how.. on my own..

Daughtry - Crashed

2009-07-06T23:53:00.003+08:00

every night,
waited for her to come on since.
to no avail, alright.
couldnt sleep, couldnt close my eyes.
i tried, i really did try.
and all i got were nightmares THIS size.
i just had to think, of all the things i've done to you.
and how to ever stand up again.

wanted to talk things out,
makes things up, clear the fog one day.
am i the only one trying to blow it away?
thought she was mad at me; she definitely is.
cus i tried to say hello today
but head held high, face turned away. yup..
i've got nth left to say.
i'm sorry. thats all this soul can think of pleading.

yearn for forgiveness..

Silverstein - My Heroin(e)

2009-07-03T01:00:00.003+08:00

my back is hurting like nuts.
the lower back esp. near the tail bone..
the part where controls ur legs to walk?
i cant even stand up now..

ur heart's a maze and i'm its challenger..

2009-07-02T22:56:00.002+08:00

WHAT THE EFF!!!!!!

2009-07-01T04:22:00.003+08:00

hong wei's request!

gosh, found this 'lucky' seashell (that didnt bring me any luck at all) in my nasi lemak.
its no freaking bigger than the damn peanut o.o
sigh.. NO SHINY PEARL ):

30 Seconds to Mars - The Kill

2009-06-28T20:59:00.002+08:00

i have gotta spill out all my thoughts one day..
its killing me inside. and this is the longest....

just got deja vu. third time today

FRIENDSHIP

2009-06-28T00:40:00.016+08:00

"Triple-F guy flirting with girls that are Above Average in school".

BIAS POINT OF VIEW
A fucking fuly & fat guy just flirt with the girl that i like, classic.
And very soon, she will join his army of bffff (best fucking female friend forever).
Why can't he just leave her alone and entertain the rest of his soldiers!? He very well knows that we have a thing for each other and he's there sabotaging. GAH!
Not that i want to say, even his easily expose flirting techniques are so outdated that my grandpa doesn't use it anymore:( ENOUGH, FULLSTOP

Afterall, She is just unaware of how i feel when she ignores me over and over again. I want to be there for you when you're down, when you're not alright & for everything in life. But you never once approached.. how can a couple build up trust if he's not even given the opportunity to... not one. not any.
you gotta start somewhere right.
"The hardest and most painful thing in life is to watch the one you love, love someone else". I bet everyone agrees with this fact.

GEEKS SPELLS DOOM TO COOL GUYS

2009-06-28T00:37:00.002+08:00

A undeniable and detrimental fact, "hot girls love geeks"

BOY/GIRL

2009-06-28T00:09:00.004+08:00

"Why are girls oblivious of guys flirting with them." This simply implies that girls are born out to be housewifes! Two weeks of my holiday flew like no bitch business:(

Avril Lavigne - Keep Holding On

2009-06-25T01:05:00.002+08:00

holy shit.
i'm like tearing a lot. and i dunno why.
my eyes dont hurt, but maybe smth else does..

sometimes.. i just.. wonder if we will ever be... and it breaks me down to think otherwise..

2009-06-18T16:00:00.002+08:00

the day i tore my right bicep brachii.. (4 eggs)

The Red Jumpsuit Aparratus - Cat & Mouse

2009-06-04T21:27:00.002+08:00

you never gave me the chance...

no matter how many good deeds you did, even if its a million.. one wrong is enough to jeopardize all. that. fucking. painful. effort..

2009-06-04T11:00:00.003+08:00

TODAY IS THE DAY I PASSED MY DRIVING BTT !! (first attempt) lol..
THURSDAY
4th JUNE 2009
9.50am
SSDC

We Are Broken

2009-06-01T23:18:00.003+08:00

i am outside
and i've been waiting for the sun
with my wide eyes
i've seen worlds that don't belong
my mouth is dry with words i cannot verbalize
tell me why we live like this

keep me safe inside
your arms like towers
tower over me

yeah
cause we are broken
what must we do to restore
our innocence
and all the promise we adored
give us life again cause we just wanna be whole

lock the doors
cause i'd like to capture this voice
that came to me tonight
so everyone will have a choice
and under red lights
i'll show myself it wasn't forged
we're at war
we live like this

keep me safe inside
your arms like towers
tower over me

cause we are broken
what must we do to restore
our innocence
and all the promise we adored
give us life again cause we just wanna be whole

tower over me
tower over me
...and i'll take the truth at any cost.

seriously just fuck off, izzul..

2009-05-26T00:13:00.002+08:00

wtf sia..
i should just quit living, seriously and fucking furiously -.-
i just feel so.... URGH!!
ccb.. its like the world is moving so fucking fast with
so many things going on at the same time..
WAIT UP for fuck's sake..

or maybe i should just fuck some of the burdens off my fucking chest..
and walk a little faster with what i have left
to catch up with the freaking world..
i've got no time for....
and yet seems like nothing is happening at all.. wtf.
feel like killing myself or smth.. (and breaking down is NOT in my vocab -.-)

i'm neither here nor there..
so i should just like fuck everything else and study non-stop and become an ugly geek..
geeks are better off in life anyway... NOWADAYS tt is..
hong wei might be the only person who knows EXACTLY what i mean..
and my life is fucking screwed up..

why cant life just go the way you want it to..
why is it that i am always the one who needs to work so much extra harder to get what i want..
when its a walk in the park to most of them...
why does my life have to be so complicated all the fucking time -.-
why am i trying so hard to get smth that doesnt even belong to me in the first place...
why is life so fucking unfair...
why.. do people who do not want that something as much as you do, get it and leave you with nth left to spur you on in life...
why...

fuck this world.. and this fucking life -.-

2009-05-03T12:10:00.001+08:00

Why write with confidence?
Why try to save them?
We try to not forget
It's so much better there
Did you think you could make it on your own?
It was so much better there

This won't mean anything...

fuck you la..

2009-04-26T20:03:00.002+08:00

things i did 'right' today:

1) burnt my fingers, again
2) swallowed a fish bone
3) got a cut on my finger
4) tore my knuckle skin
5) had something painful go into my right eye
6) broke my handphone
7) take cab to changi road
8) AO
9) eat stupid fats
10) acted happy even when i'm not

smart move, izzul...

2009-04-07T23:18:00.001+08:00

tired and alone, i wished there was someone to share that status with..
i look on the bright side, but wait.. there is non.
when i look at the moon, i know thats my only connection with her, whoever she is.
i hope she's doing fine. as a matter of fact, i hope she's the total opposite of my worries.

smiling, laughing and not to cry.
happy and loving with what/who she has now.. sigh.
i only want the best for her, even if she's not meant to be mine.
hope the man that holds her will treat her fine. no, more than fine. PERFECT.

he will be the one who she feels secure with.
he will always be there for her when she needs someone to talk to.
he will not take her love for granted and love is what back he will give.
he will be the person whom she can put all her trust in, and not be a fool.

he will never leave her, never deceive her, never break her heart.
no matter what, he is to make sure she wont even get a single cut.
he is to pray for her health, pray for her wealth, and hope she'll always be fine.
if i had just one wish, THAT would be mine..

i dont really care if i dont get her, as long as she's doing fine.
i dont care if i will suffer inside...

FINALLY 18 and LEGAL(:

2009-04-05T23:59:00.000+08:00

i'm OFICIALLY 18!!!!!!
WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
you know.. i've always wanted to be this age,
for god knows what reason cus i really have no idea why.
maybe it just looks like a nice age to be at,
BUT...
i only get to be 18 for a year, so i'm gonna make full use of my time being 18 (:

study hard..
play hard..
gym hard..
shoot hard.. (archery)

and yes..
i'm not gonna ever let go of this group of ppl called GLs..
they are the only family i have in poly tt i can trust A LOT
and have millions and trillions and zillions of truckloads of fun with,
without having to worry much abt the world around me..
i love every-single-one of them to DA MAX!!!
and it will FOREVER stay that way(:

and of course... there are the special group of special ppl..
who add spice to my life to make it almost perfect(:
and thanks to these people,
my 18th birthday was a very very very memorable one..

this year, i dont care if a million people wished me a happy birthday..
cus its NOT the quantity that counts.. its the QUALITY (thanks REYNARD!!)

what surprise this group of ppl gave me ystd was a small one..
but that didnt matter AT ALL.
what mattered was WHO gave me the surprise.. and what also mattered was the THOUGHT they all put in..
and i can tell you, this group of special people whom i hold very dear to my heart..
are the SWEETEST and BEST bunch of ppl ever!!
they are non other than...

NATALIE!!
ZAID!!
RACHEL!!
REYNARD!!
TAUFIQ!! (TABUNG)
YONG QUAN!!
PRAVIN!!

i will FOREVER LOVE YOU GUYS!!!! ((:

and for those who couldnt make it, i know they wished they could've been there.
all in all, it was a GREAT 18th birthday spent with even GREATER friends(:

really,
i couldnt have asked more from you guys.
thank you for ALL ur bdae wishes and blessings.
AND THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH FOR THIS MEMORABLE 18th :D
till death do us part, we will always be together as ONE FAMILY (:

LOVE,
izzul (:

2009-03-01T23:33:00.003+08:00

HEY GUYS!!!!

the group meeting earlier today was great!
for those who couldnt make it, not to worry;
i'm here to update you guys on what we have decided.
and also to get suggestions and feedback from you guys pertaining to
our group details(:

alright, first i will start with our NEW group name.
as you guys alrd know, our previous group name was "PYRE"
and we HAD to change that due to some unforeseen
circumstances.. seriously... LOL.
okay anw, the 5 of us researched, discussed and polled(small one only)
earlier during the meeting and we've come to a conclusion..
our new name fought very closely to the names,
'Sparta' and 'Kreon' and the eventual winner is...... 'CYRUS' !!!!

personally, i like the name a lot, and i hope you guys like it too(:
and if you guys want to know more abt it,
just ask Reynard. lol. okay so CYRUS will be our
new group name from now on(:
GARANG BO?! (sia lah, miley cyrus just added 8 new fans to her list seh! LOL)

okay, moving on.. we've thought (or rather picked impromptu-ly)
through our identities and we've finally decided on one.
very cheap de, $0.50 each only! "eh, the rest of the money split ah" haha.
okay anw, the GLs(8 of us) will have one extra identity
other than the one we picked for our freshies and
that is a anklet which is tied around our right ankle.
i've attached pics for you guys to get a rough idea of what it looks like,
make sure to check it out and INPUT please!!
we've bought it for all you guys and we're gonna pass it to you
on the day we book-in to GL Camp alright?

we aint gonna take it off... EVER!!

hmm, lets see.. what else.... oh yah,
we've also researched and brainstormed..
(while munching on chips and pocky in the library) and concluded
on our CYRUS FLAG!!
the info i have is this.. each group will be given a black flag,
and only a few basic colours to paint out our flag during GL Camp
which is the day after tmr.
i've also attached a pic of what our flag will very very very very roughly look like eventually.
if you check it out later on, you WILL see
that the legs of this mythical 'dunno what' creature
are retardedly retarded.
so we are gonna have to alter that a little and get everyone's input once again.

alright,
now for the Group tee.
we've decided that we are gonna have 2 shirts (maybe more, see recession lor).
Our group colour is GREY/GRAY btw.. if we dont take grey,
we'd have to take purple o.o no other choice :\
blue was rejected cus its gonna be the freshy's general colour.
okay, as for the t-shirt designs for both tees...
its still under much thought
but we DID chip in a heck load of ideas (some of us were laughed at.. haha)
and we'll brainstorm summore and hopefully get the design out
right after GL Camp, where the 5 of us decided for us all to go straight
to queensway to send it for printing(:

okay CYRUS.
lastly, here's ur Idemnity Forms for BOTH GL CAMP & SPORTS CAMP.
you guys are required to print them out, have it filled and hand it in on tuesday morning
when we book-in to GL Camp k? This is suuuuuper important***

alright then, i believe that should be ALL for now.
if you guys have any queries or feedback (and i hope you guys do),
PLEASE DO approach me about it. THANKS!!!!!!
now we shall concentrate on packing our stuff for tuesday
and resting up (esp. Hannah and Jeremy).
we want you up and running in 32.5 hours from now!! hahaha.
okay then, i hope you guys are contented with the group so far.
and also feel that we are bonded.
if not, its definitely something to work towards :D

anw...

sorry for the essay and YUP, i need you guys to reply me a "NOTED!!" again so
that i know you guys are well informed(:
btw, all the HUGE WORDS are all key info, do note!!

LOVE... if dont love also nvm :\
izzul!!!!

(P.S. " WE ARE CYRUS WE AM STRONG; IF-YOU-THINK WE'RE NOT, WE'LL PROVE YOU WRONG! ") hehehehehehe =P

make ME bleed..

2009-02-15T12:12:00.002+08:00

i wont suffer, be broken
get tired, or wasted
surrender to nothing
or give up what i
started
and stopped it
from end to beginning
a new day is coming
and i am finally free..

run away, run away
i'll attack.

367438 63

2009-02-06T01:16:00.003+08:00

GL BONDING CAMP HERE WE COME!!!!

haha, holy shit sia! hw got in!!
we only got the news like damn late when it was arnd 2145hrs
me and hw just finished gym at gombak and were eating fish soup for dinner
hw got the call first (his face no reaction one lor, i thought dunno what happened. lol)
den i was trying to listen in den suddenly my phone rang, hahaha
this guy named Adrian from SSC called and told me i was selected.

shiok sia!
too bad percy didnt make in..
sad seh, everyone of us got in but him.
i think he screwed up the interview, lol
but nvm lah, i'm sure he'll get in next year if he tries!
looks like we're gonna have to do with one less girl in our group, LOL

anw, today's CATS was fine. my group got an A for the final assignment/presentation.
"and that's the end of CATS" (:
went over to SW after tt and played some matches.
quite okay on the whole, didnt score any goals though o.o
and got injured like hell

guess what too? during gym and after, i kept bluffing hw on a lot of things sia
and he really believe, HAHAHA!

okay i havent packed for camp tmr and i havent done a hell load of stuff too
the gays are still chatting in MSN, haha
i'm gonna sign off......

NOW

sick and tired of this world..

2009-02-05T00:35:00.006+08:00

crapppppppp. studied for the wrong test ystd -.-
but i think i still should be able to pass bah..
my memory didnt fail me tt much, and luckily i kinda listened a little during lectures and pracs.

today was a lousy day. L-O-U-S-Y.. lousiest day since 5 months ago.
felt kinda weird. like got smth missing in my current daily routine.
i'll just get used to this one i guess.. got a lot of things in mind tt i should just forget abt. i can say i tried..
not gonna be doing anything Great anytime soon.

anw,

today was relatively slack.
walked back to hw's place in the rain after sch cus he found out he didnt bring his passport sized photo, haha
see lah! who ask you take it out from ur wallet ystd when we eating prata! =p
digressing.. i dont know how i would live w/o my friends.
they are just great ppl, and are always the ones tt make ur day a hell lot better
even if tt other someone is missing from ur life(:

GL interview was okay. no sided feelings or anything.
went in with hw and adrian
just cant wait for the results, sitting here in anticipation. lol
really hope hw meets the cut even after a daring interview session with the CC, haha ("whack him lor")

and seriously... i should get a life..
it starts with possibly going sentosa with hw on sunday, lol

you lie..

2009-02-03T22:31:00.003+08:00

okay, ppl.
to propose to my return to blogging, i'll post smth interesting
for UR entertainment :D
(hello!!! btw. haha)

this video is called....
"DRAGON BOAT SUCKS!!" - lol, sorry to all my dragon boat frens! ><>

hahaha, hope tt helped lighten your mood(:
cus exams are arnd the freaking corner!
and..
and...
tmr got MDA final test sia! (gonna study soon)

and as for my life's update for PDI SEM 2 WEEK 8,
i got like 5 projects which are due within these 2 weeks o.o
i shouldnt even be blogging now lor.
but i promised myself to after i took the vid up there, haha
so bo bian lor(:

anw, i gotta go off alrd. maybe i'll post summore tmr.
who knows...
ask who, haha

byeeee!!
and good luck to h.w and f.l and also 1P01 for tmr's test!
can pass de lah hong wei! its ONLY 5 chapters in one night ;P

ponyo ponyo can you go and get a life?!

2008-12-05T23:28:00.002+08:00

paramore, paramore, paramore, paramore, paramore!!
i listened to one of their new singles for the 30th time today alrd lah.
siao, right?
and hello again, after so long not blogging :P

common tests are next week!!
so its much studying, jogging, working out, playing maple(got explaination o.o) for me the past 2 weeks, haha.
i passed my econs quiz 2 tt i took with h.w and f.l ystd (:
these are our scores:

izzul: 560/1000
hong wei: 440/1000
fu long: 440/1000

LOL, i also dunno how they got the same marks tgt and failed tgt also
when they were sitting so damn far apart, Lol.
den after tt, both of them skipped CATS and
the three of us played CS while waiting for SW, haha.

anw, tt day's long over. today more important.... cus...
ITS THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!
at least until the term break's over, hahaha
shiok sia, 3 weeks holiday
gym, gym, gym!!!
time to start working out liao,
damn fat alrd can.. seriously sia, Lol
4 times a week, tt means arnd 15 times altgt including this week's sessions
before school starts again.
lets see how much fitter i can get by then(:

jogged a total of 20km this week so far alrd,
feel quite good but i just ate Mega McSpicy Meal for dinner -.-
the regret came in the moment i took one bite,
but just too hungry at tt time uh.
so no choice lor, tmr must run another 7km(:

okay, on to the highlights for today!
mr. NG HONG WEI came early to DPAM today
for the first time EVER!!
he came even earlier than jia hao sia, wow
must be cus he didnt bring anything to sch at all, hahaha.

and straight after DPAM, we headed to canteen 4 cus
for the first time also, Don released us earlier.
and on the way to canteen 4 passing thru the carpark at block 47...

(muay thai expert, hong wei, attempted to knee a car we were walking past )
unknown to him, a lecturer just left the block heading towards her car.
Izzul: i wonder what would happen if he really knee the car, lol
Fu Long: dunno this car who's one also sia.
(someone suddenly opens the boot of the car)
Lecturer: my car.
Hong Wei: o.o

hahaha, dunno how to explain the situation also lah,
damn funny tts all i know, LOL.

wah, sian.. tmr need to go red dot museum for CATS.
need to wake up early!!
gotta sleep soon, very soon.
haha, tts all for today(:

study hard everyone!! jyjy :D

2008-11-19T23:33:00.002+08:00

ugh.. my shoulder hurts ALOT.

crap lah, it fully recovered for one day..
and i just HAD to take advantage of that and go all out and shoot
almost the whole day -.-

now its even MORE injured than last time..

good job, izzul..

2008-11-19T22:12:00.003+08:00

holy shit, i cant believe i'm on desmond's friendster page playing Gold Miner o.o
haha, its actually quite addictive really,
i keep failing at level 6 lah
i think i've been playing for more than an hour liao..
this ONLY happens when i am sian, or i have too much time on my hands
(which i actually dont...)

so to get myself away from tt awfully addictive flash game,
i forced myself to blog.. i think.
just took out my contacts
and i kinda dunno what to do with the hot-dog bun that my brother left in my room,
staring at me...
i WILL NOT succumb to the temptation!!

you know why?
i ate today like the word 'fat' ceased even in fat ppl.
like cholesterol, sodium and FAT
didnt exist..
i ate fried rice in the morning with 2 eggs.
ate 3 piece KFC chicken at arnd noon (got it free from the red camp thing - school sponsor)
ate subway cookies that i bought from the canteen 1 underpass with Father
ate the atrium fatty buns that cost me $1.35 each -.-
ate cheezles that Father bought from Cheers in school..

wth.. on my normal school day
all i would have eaten is ONE Chicken Roll SIM MegaBites Sandwich
which has cabbage and tomatoes in it
and tts all o.O
shit, i exeeded my normal diet quota,
200 push ups and 100 crunches (ROEL EDITION)
hahaha,
i'm so gonna die tonight so...
i Must enjoy this moment right now as much as i can
:D

alright SPORTS CAMP GL TRAINING on Monday...
was FUN!!!
Sports Camp was more fun lah of course
but it was only the first training
so cant expect much i guess, no.
just nostalgic, the cheers, the craziness, the spasticity of my previous GLs
who are now either ex-co or helpers, haha
its just fun fun FUN!
made quite a handful of new friends too as usual
and got a lot of **** ** also!!!
WOOTS!! (:
cant wait for the next training,
must pia to get selected, and THIS GOES OUT TO JOSHUA CHONG ALSO!!!
go all the way man! we WILL get through this(:

oh, did i mention that joshua's blog is like one of the nicest blog to read?!
well, i'm saying it Now. his blog is just entertaining, haha. it makes me laugh all the time although it IS hard to read lah since your words are all so small cramped up together like what i'm doing right now.. (i bet he'll be like, "oh, no wonder.. i was wondering why he suddenly cramp all the words like tt." Lol) your primary school teacher never teach you how to put spacing in your paragraphs one ah? like that how to read properly lah Uncle?!

btw, GET WELL SOON JOSH!
its not the time to be getting sick uh
got 9 days to recover before the next training, lol

okay, i think i have had enough rest from that lame game..
i go........ do sth..

(:

2008-11-16T22:58:00.005+08:00

fear..
hate..
excited..
useless..
happy...
nervous..
love..
angry..
envious..
unwell..
pleasure..
jealousy..
pain...

feelings..
emotions...
why cant i just live without them.. i dont need it...

i dont care..

2008-11-14T23:23:00.005+08:00

i've got a million things stuck in my mind

tts supposed to be said out to you

but i just cant muster the courage to...

imagine ME... dead..

2008-11-14T23:07:00.006+08:00

I'm thinking of you

In my sleepless solitude tonight

If it's wrong to love you

Then my heart just won't let me be right

'Cause I'm drowned in you

And I won't pull through

Without you by my side

2008-11-05T21:33:00.003+08:00

hais..
today was a very tiring day.
didnt sleep too early ystd night,
den woke up at 5.30am this morning just to get to pasir ris by 7.30am
the people were okay,
quite cute lah, i shout how many seconds left
den a few groups of them tgt shout help me countdown, lol

den during one of the breaks, got one group of boys told and also ask me a lot of things
about 'that girl' as they referred to just now.
and they thought 'that girl' was my sister -.-
and coach was my father ?!
Lol

left the school at arnd 11.45am
and headed to kong hwa primary to join the rest
after tt we went to have lunch lor
nth much.
after tt coach sent me off to school

after class, i went down to range cus i wana help auntie pat and coach
and also cus josh call me go one
den when i reach there,
josh was at piano class...
waste my time.. lol, joking
i helped auntie pat cut the colored tapes for the arrows
and in the process i cut my finger -.-
helped coach do some stuff too

did some static exercises like push-ups, core training and stuff near the upper range
den after tt, we all went off
coach sent auntie pat they all back home
den coach and me go meet auntie whitney at bpp

she bought a hell lot of groceries lah o.o

den coach and me go makan.
he bring me to
this place called Naked Fish Express i think
the food there very nice lah
den we order 3 meals share, haha
halfway, auntie whitney joined us
den we talk talk talk lor

most of the time, they were telling me abt their 4 girls
and they told me a secret also,
tell me not to say de, lol
talk and eat and talk until arnd 8pm like tt
den they send me to mrt

tts all for today i think,
tmr got another one at pasir ris
but only more tiring..
got to bring all my archery stuff,
my laptop for CATS and clothes for S&W..

sian lah..
whole body still hurts from training with Roel on sunday...

nothing has changed..

2008-11-04T22:00:00.007+08:00

hais...
since it's more or less over and done with..
(although it's really not,)
maybe one day i can actually say tt
"i'm over it".. just like Katharine

i guess there's just no use brooding over such things,
tt doesnt really matter on the other side..
happiness..?
HAH..
*** **** made me **** *********..

got work tmr..
i dont wana see...
but i cant back out now, i alrd PROMISED..

time: 10.00 pm...

2008-11-02T22:04:00.004+08:00

its time to forget but not forgive...

2008-10-31T23:47:00.003+08:00

this time, this place
misused, mistakes
too long, too late
who was i to make you wait
just one chance
just one breath
just in case there's just one left
'cause you know,
you know, you know

that i love you
i have loved you all along
and i miss you
been far away for far too long
i keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
stop breathing if
i don't see you anymore..

far away..

2008-10-31T22:28:00.004+08:00

wah, very long never post liao.
past few days reach home so late
today is my rest day.

hmm..
lets see if i can recall what happened the past few days...

wednesday:
went to Dover mrt to meet uncle johnny in the morning
the SP girls are hot sia..
and i was in their territory
so i cant do shit
but just wait there for 20mins for uncle johnny to come pick me up
lol..

after tt went to Fairfield Methodist Primary School
for fun-shoot
first time i go there
got me, gerry, tess, uncle johnny, and auntie whitney
quite a lot of ppl for 48 primary 6 students
but they all very good lah
not as bad as secondary school de
this one easier to handle
and i was DOS

they also shoot very good
almost half of them get yellow most of the time
and half of tt half are girls
wahlao, P6 girls power..

when i came there i saw a boy setting up his own bow
den i ask him where he go shoot
he say home team ns there
cool seh, i think the second day he got 3rd for iko
his name is jonathan
den also got this girl damn cheeky one
she call herself homo-sexual
den keep telling me she is
and soon after, she keep calling me homo-sexual -.-
uncle johnny also keep laughing
and her name is hui min

still can rmbr, lol..

after tt went tanglin,
my feelings for them is the same as tess's
so you can go read her blog on tanglin school
but i really think they are very innocent kids.
jus wished tt there was more i could do lor

guess what happened after tt..
still got another one leh
we go all the way to Singapore Sports Council (SSC)
to hold fun-shoot

uncle johnny say his back pain
den uncle chew there say he no voice
den auntie whitney busy settling some stuff at their office
den gerry play my laptop
den tess dun wana do...
so in the end i brief lor -.-

wth, first time brief alrd kena adults
briefing adults feel quite funny leh
arnd 20+ of them summore

they were all okay
got these 2 young ladies who's form was very nice
look like they do archery before
but i ask den they say never

okay, after tt was done...
guess where we headed to next?
we went to pic up the van from the servicing station dunno where
den met auntie pat, carres and mei xin there
so me, auntie whitney and tess transfer to the van lor
uncle johnny go home
den we go range take some stuff

tess and mei xin went crazy inside the van lah
dunno why also
den carres also keep laughing until her saliva kena my face....
after we go range we STILL went to office
and by tt time quite late alrd
and tess and mei xin were still siao
dunno them lah, like kena possess or something
laugh non stop
den auntie pat and auntie whitney thought they bullying me
LOL

after office, we all go eat dinner
and even then, they were all still siao
except carres lah, dunno why suddenly emo
i think she tired uh..
tess and mei xin keep laughing at dunno what
and carres looked a bit sick
but she managed to finish her spaghetti, haha

after eating, auntie pat insisted on sending me home
although i say dun wan, i wana take mrt
but she still dun let,
she say cus very late alrd
so, because of tt.....
i had to sit thru another whole half hour of tess's and mei xin's
crazy spree, which never seemed to stop, lol
ppl tired after such a long day they still can like tt
lol

kinda lazy to blog abt yesterday
hmm, maybe tmr bah
i wana go sleep liao

we're drifting further apart...

2008-10-28T23:16:00.002+08:00

i just realised smth
tt i should have 2 weeks ago..

nvm,

i'm off to sleep.
got work tmr and school after tt,
same thing the next day too..
sian...

2008-10-28T23:11:00.002+08:00

what's meant to be will become.. in time...

oftentimes ppl will leave out the 'in time' part at the back of tt phrase
well, obviously ppl will think its obsolete
when what they want to happen, just doesnt
of course within the limitations of their fortitude.

well duh, you cant just wait 2 days and when IT doesnt happen,
you give up..
unless you're absolutely certain there's no hope...
in tt case, go ahead and just walk out the EXIT..
no one's stopping you.
but just bear in mind tt no one's telling you to go too..
its YOUR heart tt makes the verdict...

11.11pm.
someone once told me tt if you see tt number my chance..
someone somewhere is missing you...
somehow... i dont think so..

2008-10-27T22:44:00.005+08:00

"we were meant to live for so much more"

this phrase has got me thinking..
over and over and over again.

i could write 5 whole essays on what's going thru my mind now just on tt phrase.
let alone the other billions of thoughts still wafting in my head..
its hard to be happy when you've got so much
on ur side tt is....

10.44pm..
goodnight world...

2008-10-27T20:53:00.004+08:00

OMG..
something amazing just happened o.o
hmm... hmmm.....
nah, i'm sure its just plain coincidence,
that.. *ahem*

okay, i just ate like $7 worth of white carrot cake?
no choice lah, my mother buy one den no one else eating scared waste
and my stomach feels a little weird
i think got like 5 eggs inside?!
wth lah, i'm gonna grow fat tonight
all tt warm-up running arnd the field at the range this morning was for nth...
shit lah, i will NEVER eat so much again in my life
i swear..

and not only will i grow fat from tt;
i suffered the whole time i was chewing tt 'monster' up
no thanks to the stupid big fat cut in my lip..
DAMN pain sia...
and i think cus of all tt junk food,
the cut just grew bigger
cus now even when i drink water it hurts..
still taste blood....

today was quite wasted,
AGAIN, because of the bad weather
if i was a couch potato at home, i wouldnt care if it rained everyday
but i'm not! instead, i'm a stupid guy who's trying to be moderate in this thing called Archery..
tts all i'm asking for; to be MODERATE
yet the weather cant coorperate with me to fulfill this trivial request..
neither is my strenth...

all i can say is...
LOL.

so i only managed to shoot form for only 1 and a half hours,
which i couldnt make full use of
cus got 4 very noisy and mischiveous boys
making a hell lot of noise near where i was shooting
although jm was 10m away from me shooting form on another board, i think he also cannot focus.
make more noise summore lah.. missing the huge board at 3m still wana talk -.-
if i missed the board at 3m WITH SIGHT, i would QUIT archery..
and tts exactly what those boys should do.

quite tired now,
but still satisfied tt i'm making adequate progress changing my form
and release especially.

i'm gonna sleep at 10pm
latest by 10.15pm bah

YOU are my mood.

2008-10-26T23:25:00.003+08:00

wah..
damn tired seh
today shoot from morning until 7 like tt
my back still hurts a bit

i'd argue with vanessa on the BABY issue
but i just too tired uh..
anw, good to hear she's doing well in Philippines (:

AND

i was training form at 18m near 5pm
den during one of the shots, the bow drop swing a lot
the first swing back, the lower limb hit my chin Damn hard
den when it swing back down, hit my lip EVEN harder..
bleed a lot sia, den i thought why my saliva taste like blood
but i just keep swallowing..
now got a very deep cut in my inner lip
damn pain lah :\

and also, guess what?
i found out at the end of the day when i was about to keep my set
tt i was shooting the wrong form all along...
and tts why my back hurts..
tmr changing back to korea form..
i go sleep le

good luck to me for tt

2008-10-25T23:50:00.001+08:00

MY BABY IS CUTER OKAY!!!!

2008-10-25T23:25:00.002+08:00

oh, oh!!
i rmbred smth!
this morning i dreamt of BABY!!
but my baby got open her eyes leh (i think its a her)
but very scary lah,

dunno why got a lot of monsters everywhere arnd me
den i proctecting baby from them
i was holding him damn tightly in my arms and running away lah
just run everywhere trying to find somewhere safe
yet she's still so happy and giggling
with her cute, fat baby cheeks
haha
her eyes also damn big lah
and her toothless smile so nice and cute

although there were so many problems and scary things arnd me
she still made me smile and suddenly when i did, all of the monsters disappeared
and i was back at home with baby
got a lot of visitors in the house also

den soon after, i heard 'come. come to mommy'
and i saw baby crawling away from my sight behind a wall
i got up to see who baby crawling to
but before i could see her (mommy),
i got woken up by my alarm...

sian.. didnt get to see who lah...
but still baby very cute,
haha(:

goodnight!

2008-10-25T23:05:00.002+08:00

emo
emo
emo
emo
emo

suddenly someone emo-ing alrd
hmm......
(actually got smth to say but dun wan alrd)

anw..
today was quite fun, lol
at least the second part of the day was
POL-ITE trials today was sighters for my 60 50 and 40 lah
so my score was like shit
first time shoot fita 9.. hmm, for first time not bad lah

after tt packed, eat lunch and went to range with josh

when we reach the range,
we saw almost everyone walking arnd the upper range
looking on the ground, lol
i think they just finish the srjc fun-shoot den
looking for lost arrows, haha

went in and saw tt stupid meixing there AGAIN
she charge us $2 for one ice lemon tea lah
so ex..
lol, den wana eat the hotdog also cannot

after tt very funny lah!
i was setting up my bow cus i wana pei leong shoot
den suddenly DAMN SMELLY!
den i say 'wah why so smelly one?'
and everyone also start saying, hahaha
at first they all thought me and josh step on the dog shit near the gate there
gerry help me check my shoe, he say dun have
after tt everyone suddenly look at joshua, LOL
poor joshua, everyone keep saying is he smelly de
den he also keep saying its not him
meixing made the most noise
and you should've seen auntie pat's face!!
HAHA

her face like cramp like tt cus very smelly
den keep saying joshua, hahahahaha!
cannot stop laughing lah,
even uncle chew and auntie whitney there pinching their nose
looking at joshua :P
mindy there go arnd looking for shit on the floor, lol

ya lor, like tt only(:
but still very funny, haha

one more to go!

2008-10-25T22:36:00.002+08:00

some question and answer thing, haha
bored uh.

First off, what's your name?
izzul

How old?
17 and a few months

Where from?
huh?

Who's the lucky someone?
lucky meh? i think sway lah(:

Who's the bff?
hmmm.. can ask them urself

Who's the hero?
how i know who's THE hero..

What's the eye color?
the iris is brown the pupil is black

What's the hair color?
actual? then brownish lor

How many times have you been in love?
including this one? hmm, d-u-n-n-o

Do you plan on having sex before marriage?
huh, got ppl who PLAN to do these kinda things one ah? NO lah..

Do you drink?
water, yes.

Do you smoke?
NO!

Would you call yourself confident?
i dun think so. i call myself IzzulLoser

Have you ever given in to peer pressure?
got. peer pressure to study

What is the vacation you're most looking forward to?
dunno leh

Watermelon or Cantaloupe?
OR

Mango or Peaches?
i've heard enough of mangoes from uncle loi, lol

Raspberries or Strawberries?
raspberries!!!

Peppers or Tomatoes?
eeeeew..

In middle school were you the "popular one"?
what's middle school?

What is your future dream job?
still (quite) young, dun wana think first

Have you taken any steps to achieve that yet?
achieve what?

What exact time and date were you born at?
5 APRIL. time? i tt time no watch..

Name one comedy show we'd find you laughing at:
who's line is it anyway(:

What is your favorite thing to eat with a cup of coffee?
hmmm.. breath mints?

What is the thing we'd find you ordering at Starbucks?
caramel frappocino with cream topping!!

What brand does your wardrobe mostly consist of?
adidas, definitely

Do you have all your teeth?
i think i do

How about braces or a retainer?
never did.

How is your eyesight?
can see arrows up to 60m clearly.. i think...

Any glasses or contacts?
both lah

How many birth marks?
i dont have any according to my doctor

What was the last song you listened to?
Cat & Mouse

What was the last show you watched?
who's line is it anyway lor

Who was the last person you talked to?
hmm, tt'll have to be my mum

who was the last person you had a phone conversation with?
cant remember

What was the last thing you ate?
some snacks auntie pat bought for us

What was the last thing you drank?
nutrisoy milk

When was your last shower?
30mins ago?

When was the last time you stopped to exercise?
exercise what?

After this, what will you be doing?
post more stuff den sleep

2008-10-24T21:17:00.003+08:00

ughh..
my shoulders hurt a lot sia
move a bit also will pain de, ever since i put on full stabs
which was only ystd?

this means....
i can anyhow shoot tmr, lol
and just give the excuse tt my arms pain
but hor, no matter what the score tmr,
we all still gotta do IKO straight after lunch
which is personally my worst time to shoot

but den again i shouldnt give excuses..

eh, didnt i say tt i'll not think of these things today?
hahaha, oh well.
what comes natural cannot be stopped(:
just like.....

*ahem*

SOMEONE's done with her post
and i think i'll be done with mine soon.
and tt would be

NOW

2008-10-24T20:39:00.003+08:00

HAHAHA!!
see! coach is already going mad and its ONLY on the second day
of the trip seh, i really pity him

staying with SOMEONE must have done smth to him
until he go mad and start turning off and on the switch cus he thought the light from the laptop is the room lights o.o
if i was there i'd laugh until i die lah
can already imagine the scene of him doing tt with his sleepy face
but cant blame him lah..

if you know what i mean(:

2008-10-24T20:27:00.004+08:00

i just found a video in my hp
from tt day me, josh, jm, tony, johnny, gerry and mindy went to bishan stadium
for the Deyi Secondary fun-shoot

the stadium damn weird one lah, lol
the place where we were supposed to set up the boards were
all the way on the other end of the stadium gallery
and the top of the gallery starts on the same level as the road
so we had to bring the boards down the stairs thru the 'backdoor'
and cus stairs very long
the board heavy mah, so we all creatively thought of another way to bring the boards down
other than carrying them
actually.. it was gerry's idea lah,
hahaha.

see, see!

2008-10-24T19:32:00.002+08:00

reached home at 6.30pm just now.
tts the earliest i've reached home for the past few months lah
went home straight after school

didnt feel like going to shoot
but i did call auntie pat to see if she needed any help
at the range or office
she never pick up so i go home lor,
lol

today was a normal school day..
nothing to say about it at all
other than i didnt eat anything except for banana milkshake
and i slept on the bus on the way home too
so to me, it took like only 5mins to reach hougang from school
haha

i didnt notice the school range at all today
just wana get my mind off archery just for now
and rest up for tmr's POL-ITE trials
i'd be going to school with jingming super early to take my sightings for fita 900 though
and also to help jingming with his bow tuning
his bow got some prob
so i think i'd have to wake up at arnd 5am tmr morning and
catch the first bus to hougang
so i'd have to sleep at 9pm later
(tt is, if i can sleep lah)

for now, i'm just gonna slack
and listen to some music
and find a few to suit this weird mood i'm in now
haha

later then

2008-10-24T00:50:00.002+08:00

shit lah,
suddenly someone got internet liao,
tt only means.. the whole world's internet slowing down by 98%
can you believe it?
i dont know what she does with the internet,
haha

kena force to choose present also
never see tt before lah, lol
its kinda cute
but not the person lah..
haha, joking
i wish coach good luck cus he'd be stuck with.........
and also i'd like to thank him for sacrificing himself so tt we in SG can have total
PEACE (:

offline-ing... NOW

2008-10-24T00:02:00.003+08:00

i not there where got fun already?

2008-10-23T23:25:00.003+08:00

hahahahaha!
just reached home(:

this super early morning's fun shoot was not bad
some of the sec 1 girls look like they're 19 years old lah -.-
den the boys all so small size..
Lol
anw, they were all very good at shooting

i shot for the first time at Tampines CC today lah, so cool
went there with josh, uncle loi and auntie pat.
saw uncle ali and mr. mohammad (HE USING WHITE INNO!!!!!)
the place can only shoot 13m and 18m
and its inside the hall!
dun need scared rain lah,
hehe

but hor, the board soft soft one lah
joshua can only shoot the newest board cus his arrows all shoot through den hit the wooden stage behind o.o
den also made some new frens there
quite cool uh, they say my bow nice(;
hahaha,
they got good taste!!

so i shot the shortest distance there to get used to my stabs,
at first my arrows flew everywhere
den the group slowly get smaller
but! my body reaction towards the change of equipment very funny
and also quite strainous

we stopped shooting at 10pm
den slowly pack until arnd 10.30pm
auntie pat sent uncle loi back home before me and josh
OMG...
his house is DAMN BIG!!!
3 and a half stories bungalow lah!
wah, next time we call him hold bbq there alrd, haha
still in shock until now,
haha

i think tts all for today lor,
i skipped talking abt sch cus nth much happened anyway
got school tmr from 9am to 5pm
can go die alrd, lol
i need to sleep soon!!

goodnight(:

2008-10-22T22:02:00.002+08:00

is it a new trend to post LOOOONG posts on ur blog these days?
cus it seems so lah, lol
anw, eating oreos and milk now.

did i say i got work tmr?
if i didnt then yeah..
I GOT WORK TMR.
sian lah, must wake up same time as today
need to reach range by 7.30am and i'm DOS tmr o.O

i wana see coach and ness off at the airport tmr
but too early for me alrd,
i'd have to wake up at 4am for tt
and i sure cannot wake up one
cus i tmr after work still got school and after school still got training.. den need more sleep
sian lah, everything is not working out...
tmr might just be the most tiring day of my life.. blowing whistles..

*sigh*

oh, today me and josh played arnd with a soccer ball in the field after we finished shooting
i slipped and fell like 5 times on the muddy ground lah,
luckily never fall on my ass
den tt stupid tess and meixing keep laughing at me -.-
like its entertaining for them to see me fall on the mud i think

sian.
sian..
sian...
sian....

gotta sleep soon alrd,
scared i late for work tmr..
sian, sian, sian..!

and wahlao,
it seemed like only ystd ness came back from turkey lah.
den tmr morning going off to manila again liao..
miss.
miss..
miss...
miss....

no more pro at then range liao,
except for me lah.. lol
who am i kidding?
haha

byebye!

2008-10-22T20:49:00.002+08:00

eating fried rice now
tt my mum just cooked for me
damn hungry lah, my lunch serving so little..
like for little children like tt lor..
Lol

today was quite a normal day
woke up super early to leave for paya lebar
reach there 10 mins late despite tt
tinesh was alrd slacking behind the lorry and
tony was inside enjoying air-con
haha

so we reached MacPherson quite early too
set up the boards and bows and shooting line and stuff
after tt me and tony go look for food at the canteen
cus we hungry mah
bought a lot of drinks too
all tony pay one lah, den when i wana pay him back he dun wan
wahlao, i feel suuuuper bad..

so we buy alrd den go back field to eat
the school having games day today
den got a lot of ppl
and come to think of it, archery is not the only sport using a field to play
when we reach field, the lazy p.e teacher complain
and talk to uncle johnny like he damn stupid like tt
he say 'you shoot there then how my students wana play soccer?! you aim the boards towards the road lah!'
like wth...
in the first place, as p.e teachers, you should've known abt all these acivites
den plan ahead and inform us what
how we know they having games day and got ppl wana play soccer? -.-
secondly, aim towards the road the arrow may go out and hit the car and the ppl walking outside right...?
after we told him tt, he STILL keep saying face towards the road....
he stupid or what?!
teachers these days the qualification damn low
he damn guai lan lah..

dont wana talk abt him alrd, lol
waste space lor
anw,
the students today was a lot more well behaved than i expected
and after today i realised smth
mixed secondary school the cliques all the same pattern one
1st clique: normal chinese boys
2nd clique: naughty chinese boys
3rd clique: naughty malay boys
4th clique: normal chinese girls
5th clique: 'minah' to be malay girls
6th clique: 'ah lian' to be chinese girls

all the same one,
and the group i'm always closest to are
the normal chinese boys
and the 'ah lians' always come disturb me

so today still the same as ystd,
they STILL call me teacher or 'cher'
when i'm only 2 years older than them..

and i also realise tt my group will always be ALMOST
the top group..
sian lah
they too pressured under my presence, Lol
joking..
but still they did very well

after the fun-shoot we packed
and got 2 more guys came to ask me for number
cus wana join archery
quite cool uh, to hear them tell you tt they like archery
and they thank you for teaching them
cus they felt tt what you taught DID make a difference
haha,

after tt, tinesh went home to sleep
and tony went to work
so me and uncle johnny made our way to range
i think i slept quite long in the lorry lah
when i woke up, we were outside the range alrd, lol

so i helped coach and auntie pat do some stuff;
shift the new bows back to office
and carry some things also
when we got back, josh let me try his stabs on my bow
BUT MY BOW IS STILL DAMN LIGHT...
i dunno why lah,
my inno needs to gain weight!
lol

so i just kept shooting lor
my shooting sucked today..
not like it was any better any other day.
but worst still, i found out i was plucking the string
and my release just looks damn wierd lah..
shit, must train form liao
looking on the bright side, my clicking got better even though i up-ed poundage
thats abt it for now lor.

this is a damn long post.. Lol

2008-10-21T23:17:00.004+08:00

ahh!
sorry, vanessa..
today got no time to post alot uh.
tmr must wake up at 5.30am :\
i'll post tmr night okay

okay, so there's work tmr morning again
this time, i'm doing at McPherson Sec
with Tinesh, Tony and Johnny.
should be quite okay lah, i hope..
whats not okay is the timing lah.. siao.
7.15am must be at paya lebar mrt station leh.
tts like dunno how many miles from my place..

but nvm lah.
not going to school anw,
so after tt HOPEFULLY can go range and shoot..
auntie pat helping me bring my bow down to range
its at her house now, lol
hope it doesnt rain tmr too

today was okay lah.
just a normal fun-shoot lor
started off with 99 students
den during the break a lot of ppl disappear
den left like less than 40 o.o

joshua scolded this 'ah lian' girl who JUST before tt came to disturb me.
she was not supposed to shoot at tt time
damn naughty sia
joshua really shout until got echo leh..
wah, after tt i also scared, lol

i kinda like the people in my group
half girls, half guys
the guys damn keen to learn lah
during the break, they come find me
and ask me teach them more abt how to shoot and how they can shoot better
den i teach lor,
damn happy tt got these kind of ppl lah

after tt they were all getting reds and yellows damn consistently
hahaha,
den they keep saying 'cannot let my teacher down!'
and they really did damn well
after tt they came to thank me
and also come find me when we keeping the boards and stuff onto the lorry
den ask for the club card and my email and hp and address -.-
haha, damn funny lah
like celebrity like tt.
i hope they join faac soon(:

then as for the girls, they were doing well also
they were damn brave lah
for sec 1 and 2 people
their bow arm all fully extended den arrow pull straight to their eyes
and i was surprised tt some of them keep wanting to shoot
super keen lah my group

oh, and also during the fun-shoot
got these 3 girls from my group also
they siao one i think,
keep talking to me when i teaching ppl
den when i demonstrating to someone
they ask for my email
den keep disturbing me and when near the end of the fun-shoot,
ask for my number and email
den just give them lor,
i only gave email though, dun wan give them number

one of them pro one leh
shoot all yellow de
but never win throphy, lol
i laugh at them until cannot laugh alrd

anw, i think i need to go do some stuff before i sleep
i just hope i dun oversleep AGAIN tmr..

yes, its true..

2008-10-21T00:38:00.005+08:00

we're all gonna die tmr..
hais...
stupid proton accelerator thing..
no use living anw,
no use thinking
no use holding back
no use keeping it in
no use acting like ITs not there
no use trying to figure *** out
no use doing anything lah..
die tmr, so be it..

i say goodbye to everyone in advanced if we DO disappear tmr night...

and goodbye to you too, ** *****..

2008-10-20T23:53:00.002+08:00

11.53pm
got work tmr with josh, jm and johnny o.o
all the Js'
feel out of place right now, lol

anw, we gotta be at bishan mrt station
by 7.30am so i think we got at least 6 hours of sleep left
but i think its 4 hours for me.
dun feel like sleeping,
(or doing anything at all for tt matter) tonight..

btw, tmr we're all handling 120 Deyi Sec students..
like wth?
i hope no one dies tmr..

but its okay if i do..

2008-10-20T23:35:00.002+08:00

wow, sixth post alrd?
tt was fast,
i didnt know blogging would be another way to kill time
lol

anw, josh and me wouldnt have lasted long in dota even if we played just now
we still need to do a lot of other things like
cook supper to grow fatter;
bathe while looking at the flickering lights above you;
talk cock;
emo the rest of the time..
tts exactly what the 2 of us are doing right now i think...
we havent spoken a word for like 1 and a half hours alrd?
and he's sighing behind me also..
emo stage of the day liao.
not me, NO..
since when do i emo?!

okay, now for the second part of the day.
met josh and jm straight after class,
we took a bus to josh's house to take his stuff
and play piano
and kick soccer ball
and say hi to uncle (LOL)

after tt we walked like 5billion metres to the 985 busstop
jm took out raw vegetables from nowhere
and start eating and offering to everyone at the busstop;
which is only me and josh, lol

halfway through the busride to range,
auntie pat called and said tt the arrows and soma stuff
cannot come yet
cus of some TNT problem lah,
they're apparantly noobs at handling arms & explosives
in other words, i didnt get my stabs today -.-

but still we went to range to help coach out:
we moved the boards like less than 100m to BPGH
like wth?
why dont they just come over to the range for the funshoot
when its only a few steps away from their school?
-.-"
retarded teachers..

*sigh
got a feeling someone's pissed at me
:(

2008-10-20T23:31:00.002+08:00

okay, i was at 'today sucked'
until thinking of my inno made me happy for awhile.
but think of it, good things only last for a short while, doesnt it?
rmbr tt time when you went out on ur first date,
with tt guy/girl you liked alot
how nervous you were,
how scared you were.
how uncomfortable you were..
how tensed you were...
how breathless you were....
and above all, how HAPPY you were.....

just how long did it last..?
and to convince yourself, just think of one of the HAPPIEST day(s) of ur life.
how did you feel the next day,
or a few days after tt?
normal right?

this just proves tt happiness can only last for so long..

you just wont share it with me..

2008-10-20T23:08:00.004+08:00

finally, my itunes is working again..
my chemical romance never seem to let me down.
and shit my eyes are tearing cus its hurting a lot..

oh, i forgot to say tt today sucked.
actually the past few days have sucked..
the only thing tt made me happy ystd is MY innocarbon(:
i love it lots, haha
gonna polish it AGAIN later
cus josh held it just now..
lol, joking uh josh!

skarly he suddenly whack my head from behind.
anw, he's typing a lot on his laptop behind me,
i think he's blogging also
gonna read it later
his posts are always very nice to read(:
dunno why..
somehow its very impactful and full of thoughts..
hmm...

TIME CHECK.. 11.17pm

and i think this is the fourth post alrd
josh said to write crap
but aiya, later unfair to SOMEONE.
although all her posts are crap also lah,
joking(:

ooh, song title i'm listening to now: Smile in Your Sleep
one of my favourtie songs i think..
sometimes i think i'll go mad if i dont have my music
cus its the bulk of my 'mood',
if tt makes any sense at all...

2008-10-20T22:55:00.003+08:00

my eyes are hurting alrd..
no time to take out my contacts yet
cus i'm busy typing and typing and my music is not playing, wtf.
the thing just dont wana play..
which makes blogging all the more boring.

so today i woke up at 5.30am
i also dunno why ystd night i planned to go sch early
when my class starts at 9am
so i reset my alarm clock to 7am and went back to sleep
when i woke up again later, it was alrd 8am..
wtf, i didnt hear my alarm
so i rushed faster than the pigeon can shit on someone's head -.-
and i was out of the house by 8.15,

found a taxi after like 10 years..
i said 'ngee ann poly'
and guess where the taxi driver went?
Nanyang Polytechnic...
F**K..
i late alrd not enuf ah?
go dig ur ear hole can not...?

so the uncle didnt even rush
but i reached class in the end JUST in time sia..
9.15am
any later than tt and i would be considered absent
and i would have paid 26 freaking dollars
for nothing..

i became totally broke..
its 26 bucks for goodness sake,
can survive for another 3 days on economic rice lah please..
and can also go to toilet in malaysia 5200 times..
and i spent it just like tt...

but for education...
can lah,
must force myself to console MYSELF
so tt i wont feel so sad..

enough for one post..

2008-10-20T22:43:00.002+08:00

second post for today (and counting)..
grace is going thru the time of the month.
so i think it would be best to watch my words
just for the next 13 days or so..

actually, NAH..
i'll just converse normally
like what i JUST said to her, "GO AND DIE"
lol,
she say she not fierce mah
den if i say she is she will kill me
(isnt tt being fierce? -.-)

anw, tt brings me to her bdae bbq
coming soon i think
she call me go and FORCED me to give her bdae present there and then
wahlao, ask for specific things not enuf ah?!
damn ex you know not...
nvm lah,
best part abt the bbq is tt its FREE!
i think the 3 of us will be spamming her food until
the dustbin also left starving at the end of the day, lol

i'll make fucking sure she pays back for her present with food
tt will go down my stomach
LOL
just joking..
i think if got satay, me, josh and jm sure clear shop for them lor
help them grow fat :\

ahh, still got 5 more after this
cant afford to post long posts, at least not today uh..
me and josh havent even bathed yet...
and tt jm ps us, wth..

tt present cover 3 years hor, I DUN CARE!!

2008-10-20T22:36:00.002+08:00

wth..
i didnt want to blog for like the rest of my life alrd lah..
cus my last post was supposed to be THE LAST POST
for my blog..
but den now the number 7 keep ringing in my head -.-
no mood lah...

and me and josh were supposed to dota also..
but i think he also busy uh
and he looks like he's bowing to me on the floor beside me
cus he's sitting on the floor using com facing me
lol, oops
sorry josh..

i used to take damn long to write an essay
in secondary school
i think if now i do Os' again
i'll finish the essay in like 15 mins from all this practice
of course, everything will be bullshit lah..

sian..

2008-10-20T00:22:00.007+08:00

suspense starts at the very beginning of a story book..
everything's uncertain, the outline is vague...
intentions are unclear..
and the ups and downs will soon come...
JUST when you get to know the protagonist..

2008-10-19T23:42:00.005+08:00

ah, shit. its past my bedtime alrd..
and i wana catch up on my sleep.

tmr, josh and jm sleeping over at my place
cus tuesday morning we got work
and also for fun i think
tmr my stabs are also coming
so i'll pick them up while i'm there at either range or office
to help auntie pat make arrows and other stuff
fita 900, hmm..
can manage lah, i think..

okay, this is the forth and final post for the day alrd..
hope SOMEONE's happy uh.
although i'm....

anw, still got a hell lot of thoughts
left floating in mid-air..
and i just dont wana grab any of the ideas and press the start button..
i refuse to let...
*sigh*

sometimes ur just doing the wrong things in life..
for the right reasons...

i'm sorry if i did anything wrong today... just not in the mood..

2008-10-19T23:35:00.003+08:00

third post....
hmm, what do i type in here?

[ FILL IN THE BLANKS ] ?

nah, it LOOKS too familiar.
maybe i should just type...
hmm..
lol, then again maybe not..

i wonder...
what if i...
and how will she..
she just doesnt....
but then they...
sigh, who am i kidding..
we will never...
and besides..
its better tt...
and she needs to..
so i think...
yeah..

tts what i would do..

2008-10-19T23:25:00.004+08:00

these were the pics josh took with his phone
so if the pic lousy blame josh, lol

the result of our hard work..

and the last one was a random photo,
i swear..
i was supposed to be super shagged or something like tt, i think..

sigh* second post done..

2008-10-19T22:50:00.003+08:00

wahlaaaaaaaaaao eh...
got like 4 posts to type in like half an hour before i sleep
30mins is not even enuf time to escape uncle loi's fart..
what's more, i dont feel like blogging today...
but no choice what.

SOMEONE so nice buy me presents from turkey
( although one of the two will only be used against me -.- )
cant complain right?
so i should just shut up and blog..

fell asleep at arnd 2.30am this morning?
and i woke up at 8am when the phone alarm rang.
and i think josh was alrd awake at tt time
we lazed until 8.30am

we took our time to get ready
den we cooked breakfast
and at arnd 9.30am we took our bikes..
5 mins later, i saw josh flying in the air.
idiot, never jio me...

we were going down slope
den he dunno why suddenly full break
the front tyres
and he "lift off" lor
the bike also fly den fall on him, lol

never take flying license dun anyhow fly lah -.-

but he was hurt quite bad
and i was amazed he could still cycle
strong man seh.
so we cycled 25miles from my house to range
we took the highway which we werent supposed to
but most of the time we were on normal roads lah
we took like 2 whole hours to get to range sia
tts long..

but it was quite fun lah
at some parts near the forest or smth
the air like air-con seh
but overall it wasnt so bad
not as many up slopes as i thought there would be.

when reach range, i tuned my arrows on my new borrowed limbs,
and nothing else needed to be changed
but nocking points
but everything was okay i guess

me, josh and jm then followed auntie pat to office
to do 'nocking point practice', lol
i'll upload some stuff in the next post..

and,

thanks for the gifts vanessa
(actually only for the shirt)

2008-10-19T02:14:00.001+08:00

:D

then again, you'll never know if its fake...

2008-10-19T01:54:00.004+08:00

out of all the people i've ever met in my entire life..
ur the first person i cant EVER read.
and i dont know what is gonna happen next..
i can NEVER tell whats going thru ur mind.

one second ur here and the next second ur mind is somewhere else
or on someone else.
i can NEVER understand you and who you really are
things tt really matter to you
dont seem like it really matters,

or ur showing it in indirect routes..
but for WHAT?!
feelings tt are meant to be portrayed..
just let them show..
or at least let it leak into the air
and not hide it and keep it for only your own acknowledgment .

for all you know,

i ***** **** **** *** as well..

2008-10-19T00:42:00.002+08:00

josh is sleeping over at my place tonight
cus we're cycling to range tmr morning.
he's alrd asleep lah

today was relatively boring.
other than the fact tt coach was with us during training
for the first time,
the training was actually alot more organized
and well looked after

so we just did our normal score taking
as usual, every saturday
but me, josh and jm did form training and bow training
we all had no choice since our bows and arrows werent tuned properly
so no use shooting.
for me, it was the first time using vanessa's 68" 38#
so i COULDNT take score cus my arrows are too damn thin
although i was surprised i could actually click faster with it than
with my older 30# limbs..

after training we headed down to fajar to wait for auntie pat
while waiting, me and josh went to play with some uber lazy cat
who only knew how to roll around on the floor.
and after auntie pat came,
we waited for ness to inch her way down and
5 hours later, she finally appeared -.-

took bus to the office
and we helped to assemble all the new wooden bowsets
tt just arrived from samick
worst part of the whole bow is tt its MIC
and it was amazingly obvious this time round..

after tt coach sent us home.
no mood to do or say anything the whole day
so i just stfu lor..
all the way till home

thinking of....

2008-10-17T21:40:00.004+08:00

take what you will, what you will and leave
could you kill, could you kill me?
if the world was on fire and nothing was left
but hope or desire

and take all that i could bring fourth,
is this hell;
or am i on the floor over-desperate?
hold hands streaming of blood again?

and then take full weight of me
guard my dreams, figure this out
its me on my own.
helpless, hurting, hell

will you stay strong as you promised?
cause i'm stranded and bare.
mean-ness is washed up in all tt i am
are you there?

take this and all,
then grace takes me to a place
of the friend you never had
ripping and breaking and tearing apart
this is not heaven,

THIS IS MY HELL..

2008-10-17T00:23:00.006+08:00

hmm, ness seems to be busy.
josh seems to be asleep.
jm seems to be idle.
tess seems to be dead..

i dont disturb them alrd.
let them do their own stuff lah

i go sleep..

you know, sometimes i wished that i had never known you..

2008-10-16T23:59:00.006+08:00

talking to josh about some stuff now,
tt only involves the people who care about their friends..
and is trying their best;
and if not as the word says,
at least putting in effort
to prevent our frens from getting hurt by some immature asshole(s)
who will just see another prettier face
( and find every opportunity to flirt and say 'mind intro? :P' )
you think the bastard really ***** her?
its called puppy-love my retarded 'friend'..
or in your case, desperation..

and if you still dont know what tt is,
YOU ARE F****** RETARDED.
and trust me,
you dont wana be forcing your way thru this natural phenomenon
tt i'm certain you've never experienced in your WHOLE (no) life..
and you never will.
cus you're constantly doing trial and error;
regardless who
and just mark off those who've rejected you and forget them
and keep trying for the ones who havent had the heart to tell you the truth..
like the others;
but you are either too ignorant or too dim-witted to know whats really going on.
works the same way doesnt it?

then your stupid mind will say, 'well it seems to be working what!'
please..
they are just entertaining you for the sake of YOUR definition of entertainment.
and because they are too nice to be telling you off
nice people dont deserve the lights of you..
they dont care if you die - they wont miss you one bit, believe me..
so sweet talk all you want dudette,
BULLSHIT will get you nowhere.

GET A LIFE MAN...

finally tts out of my system(:

2008-10-16T22:22:00.002+08:00

...and if i go,
while you're still here...
know that i live on,
vibrating to a different measure - behind a thin veil you cannot see through..
you will not see me,
so you must have faith..

i wait for the time
when we can both soar again - both aware of each other..
but until then, live your life to the fullest,
and when you need me,
just whisper my name in your heart...

i will be there..

2008-10-16T01:35:00.002+08:00

Smile because it’s contagious
Smile because it’s healing
Smile because it makes people wonder
What you’re thinking.

Smile innocently to hide the guilt
Smile mischievously to make others skeptic.
Smile lovingly to butter up the retaliator
Smile dreamingly to make others lovesick.

Smile because it’s raining
Smile because you’re tickled.
Smile because you’re happy
Smile because you’re idle.

Smile affectionately to show your love
Smile smugly as you’ve done your work.
Smile pleadingly to get what you want
Smile forgivingly to pardon the jerk.

Smile because you’re confused
Smile because you’re lost
Smile to please others
and finally SMILE in a false pretense...

2008-10-16T00:12:00.002+08:00

hah..
been awhile since i last listened
to this new song on my playlist..
i used to listen to it at least 20 times a day
in sec 3/4..

well, it suits myself right now..
attack...

2008-10-15T23:15:00.004+08:00

Every night i talk to the stars;
pretending its you..
It acts JUST like you tho..
Far away and never gives a damn about my efforts.
And yet, there's such a thing as
"Wish upon a star".....?

2008-10-15T22:42:00.006+08:00

everything's fucked up now..
at this point of time, i can safely say tt

LIFE SUCKS

like wtf,
have to tahan * *****....
i pity jing ming and grace though..
had to sit there and listen to my lame shit.
like kena forced like tt, lol
sorry guys :\

cant help it lah,
this kinda thing need to trash out one.
and grace managed to trash some of her own on me also
haha..
but hers not as bad lah..
hais, nvm...

i shall just stick to jing ming's advice :\
hopefully i can pull thru..

2008-10-15T18:52:00.002+08:00

holy shit,
i've got 48 posts in october o.O
including this one, its 49.
tts like 1.6 posts a day!
hahaha,
tts a lot lah as compared to 1 post a month the past few months

hmmm, let see..
who should i blame...? :P

anw, i JUST reached home!
and i'm hungry..
dinner's not ready yet so i think i'll have to tahan uh.
feel like shooting too, hais
i think i'll just do some bow training later

MP today was quite interesting.
and best part abt the class is,
its on the top floor of blk 50
so i get a full view of the blk 50 field!!
haha, and guess what?
i saw jinteck shooting!! but he kena chase away by bangla soon aft
Lol

tmr's gonna be a fun day, i can feel it(:
first class starts at 1pm
so i think i'll be going down to school early to shoot abit
and jing ming's gonna join me at 11
until i head off to class
and you know what? first class is CATS!
dunno leh, jing ming said his was damn fun
so i'll take his word for it(:

after CATS is S&W man!!
but tmr is only selection
and worst part of it is tt its a 'first come first serve' basis
which means... if you're NOT at least 30mins early (and i think i wont be cus i got CATS right before tt)
you will be kicked into the leftover sports or wellness modules...
f***ed up shit.
they should really consider tt we got class before lah
wahlao... so i think i'll most probably get LS/SW = Life Saving/Swimming
which no one in the whole place wants to take...

hais.. i think...
i'll go and negotiate with my CATS lecturer to let me off early
just for this week, hahaha
if not, i might just fail o.o

anw, dinner's about ready soon
i'll post again later(:

the afterlife..

2008-10-14T23:54:00.002+08:00

re ad a ll y our cu rre n t po sts alr d van es sa!! !

wah,
SOMEONE went everywhere to get me a shirt lah..
omg, so 感动 can..
if only i knew she'd do tt,
i would say dun need to buy for me alrd
cus i feel a bit bad lah
she go thru so much trouble :\
anw,

THANKS A LOT NESS(:
YOU ROCK!!

dont trouble yourself next time okay?
*SMILES*

2008-10-14T23:45:00.002+08:00

hmmm..
now tt i think of it,
i feel like reading Dan Brown's books again
his novels are DAMN nice can.. very unexpecting.
but thing is, i read before and i'm alrd gonna know whats gonna happen..
like tt where got fun alrd?!
no suspense :\

mystery, mystery, mystery..
(:
i wonder what i'm gonna post next :P

finally settled down
and switch on fan alrd (no link?)
i feel like playing the guitar for some reason
maybe for 10mins?
haha,

i think later bah(:

2008-10-14T23:04:00.002+08:00

ahh..
just came back about one hour ago.
like finally lah,
tmr start in the afternoon
so i can get more sleep tonight, haha

watching csi with ness currently
i didnt know she liked love; mystery; murder shows and books also lah!
must intro her to Dan Brown liao(:
i read all his books alrd, haha
i didnt know we have quite a lot of things in common
cool uh!

anw, i dunno why the sisters are calling me polly
AND associating me with tt disgusting des again..
please lah,
he's so damn bloody thick skin
more thick skin than those pro debaters can..
retard, lol

and grace is complaining stuff to me now
and suddenly i got part time jobs
with no pay... lol.

CSI start alrd!!
post again later(:

2008-10-13T22:40:00.002+08:00

eating some vegetable snack biscuits now(:
damn nice lah,
the cupboard still got a lot
and i think i'm gonna spam it all night!!
ahem...

so i think i'm gonna sleep early tonight
first class starts at 8am
tt means... i have to wake up at 5.30 -.-
i dread living so far away from school..
and i also got econs tmr!
hais, hope its not boring..

vanessa should be leaving the airport for home
very very early tmr morning
SHOULD BE lah.
tts when we are all are fast asleep
and our brains will be doing things tt we cant control... *****
its taboo, rmbr? lol

too bad i end school at 6pm tmr
so i cant go welcome her at the airport
when she arrives
anw, i'm not important lah; who cares if i'm there or not?
what's important is tt Coach George and her family will be there (:
haha.

if there's nothing else, i think
i go resign to bed alrd..

night
*trying to smile* D:

2008-10-13T22:16:00.002+08:00

alright, i've yet to tell you about my other lecturer,
Mr. Chan Kwan Yew!
woots!
another cool teacher lah

he was super cool during his youth
he was a competitive fencer (he had cool long hair too!)
when he got a little older,
he owned a f*****g expensive sports car!!
omg, do you have any idea how expensive a sports car was during his time?!
and he draws damn well too!
and guess what? he owns a bungalow now!!

he said tt he might invite us to his house
one day for a class bbq or smth like tt :D
cool, cool, cool! cant wait!

so as by far, ALL my new lecturers Rock(:
but i still miss Mr. Chok though..
him and his "you try.."
haha
hope my other lecturers are cool too!

Mr. Chok: "before you learn to draw, you must first learn to OBSERVE"

2008-10-13T13:41:00.003+08:00

hahaha,
first day of school rocks!!
at least so far it does(:

my new maths lecturers are damn funny
the tutorial one is a chinese(Mr. Loh)
the lecture one is an ang mo!!(Ross)
haha, cool people
i have a feeling tt this semester will be
alot better than the last(:

sitting in canteen 2 now waiting for tt
bunch of idiots to finish smoking -.-
before we can head to our next class
haha,
i'll post more tonight!
i hope our other lecturers will be great too :D

adieu!

2008-10-13T00:52:00.003+08:00

ahhh!!!
kena scolding liao :\

must go sleep
NOW
NOW
NOW!!
later i kena whack

i think we said goodnight 3 times the whole night alrd.
no wonder she scold me!!
"3 sorrys' is more than enough for one day.."

night(:

2008-10-12T23:58:00.004+08:00

wahlao, nice song sia (stay my baby)
its damn catchy and addictive
but the starting part scary sia
cus i alone downstairs o.O

something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something...............
weird uh,
i also dunno whats happening
but who cares?!
if it's going against ......... den i'd do anything, haha
i wana help coach too you know?!
his daughters are very nice people too (:

still feel like a ***** (must caps lock)
not sleepy,
not sleepy,
not sleepy,
not sleepy,
not sleepy,

goodnight, lol

2008-10-12T23:44:00.003+08:00

really, just how many times can something repeat itself?
just like everyday passes by the same.
nothing resourceful comes out of it,
and it repeats again the next day.

most days it gets worse
but tell me,
how lucky are you to actually
have something good happen to you
every single day of your life?

there's one thing though..
one thing tt happens ONCE tt will make
you elated for the rest of your life..

and tt one things happens ONCE in a lifetime.
**** ****..

this i cannot forget

2008-10-12T23:37:00.001+08:00

feeling loser-ish now..
for some unknown reason.
maybe its true
like ness always says ever since i knew her,

l
o
s
e
r

.

2008-10-12T22:55:00.002+08:00

oh,
i just rmbred what my friendster looked like last time.
hahaha, it was rocking(:
how i wished i had it again now
my background especially...

miss miss miss..

2008-10-12T22:40:00.002+08:00

hmmm..
dont feel like sleeping leh.
last day can stay awake until late
cus tmr sch alrd, lol
but still.. i can always sleep in class(:

i'm 'supposed' to be sleeping right now
maybe i am
maybe all this is just a.....
taboo word alrd, haha
feel damn paiseh lah, wtf
a promise is a promise..
but why did it have to be ystd night
and not another night
so tt i can save face.. nobody can control their d****s

ughh.. god hates me.

2008-10-12T22:19:00.006+08:00

hais..
vanessa is emo-ing now,
i also dunno why
also cant think of anything tt can cheer her up.
if i was there in person can lah
maybe can dance(MAYBE only) or tell jokes or play pillowfight
hmm, but right now i'm as useless as a log..
i m retarded.

the perfect song to listen to at this time for me is
'i cant break it to my heart'
dunno why...

some people's emotions are hard to read
but its not impossible

2008-10-12T20:05:00.005+08:00

wth...
i JUST found out tt the max space allowed
for video uploads is 100mb..
i waited all tt time for nothing, LOL
waste my time only sia..
all the other video recordings are 250mb and above..
so now i have to slowly cut them (each part is 45 seconds i think)
and upload a few at one time -.-

FYI, the previous posts were started very long ago
but posted AFTER this post
so dont mind the time on the label...

*SIGH!!!*

2008-10-12T19:50:00.013+08:00

ughh.
the video is taking a lot longer than i expected to upload lah
luckily still can post while its uploading, haha
anw, i recorded the last song halfway only lah
den my parents suddenly come back
scared they scold me say i disturb the neighbours at night
cus the piano noisy
so i ended the song prematurely
hahaha

i'll try to upload tt video in this post
at least it can keep ness company for tonight
cus if not she sure very sian de

here you go,
Canon in D Major (Piano Cover)
haha(:

time NOW: 8.10pm

FIRST PART

SECOND PART

THIRD PART

2008-10-12T18:59:00.004+08:00

ooo
i recorded the piano covers during the sunset
cant really see tt clearly lah,
but still very nice lah i think(:
haha

its gonna take a suuuuuuuuper long time for blogger to upload,
so i think while waiting i go record one last song
before it turns super dark
and i dunno why i keep making mistakes o.o
hehe

its a full piece, at least i think it is
lol
Numb (Piano Cover)
dun laugh ah?! :P

this post failed.
cus there's no way i can upload tt huge file in here and i deleted
some important file tt allowed me to edit the video
who ask me never read before i do anything, lol
*100mb max...
super funny

time NOW: 8.23 pm